Happy Shrapnel

I have never watched The Jimmy Kimmel Show and am not particularly a fan of Sarah Silverman’s brand of comedy, but the recent I’m F*cking Matt Damon skit from the Kimmel show is “f*cking” hysterical! If for some reason you have not seen it, you have to watch it. It is quite simply really, really funny.

What makes it so great is Matt Damon and his sort of adorable stiffness in the scenes. He clearly doesn’t belong in an inappropriate parody such as this one. And that is precisely what makes it SO great.

No one technically cusses in the skit, because I gotta be honest, it would get a bit old to actually have to hear the word F*ck that many times in a row. So that doesn’t detract from the skit at all, which is nice. And believe it or not, they somehow pull this skit off without it being particularly offensive.

Good for Matt Damon for doing something so goofy and I would imagine a little bit risky, because he nailed it! And it is, I must say, so refreshing to see one of these celebrities not take themselves quite so seriously. It is just a perfectly executed, completely original piece of comedy that I am not ashamed to admit had me laughing until I cried.

One of the most lovely perfumes I have ever come across is Carolina Herrera New York.

I’m never fully sure how to interpret those descriptions of perfumes that you read in catalogs and on-line, but in case they make sense to you, this fragrance has what they call a white floral base with Jasmine and Tuberose notes.

Basically it is a gentle, very feminine perfume. However, it doesn’t have that sticky sweetness that I seem to associate with those cute, but more juvenile scents. It has a bit of a warmth to it, yet doesn’t become musky.

Does that help at all? Now that I read it, my description is just as unclear as the wordy distributor ones isn’t it? Okay, well I have another idea. If you think you may want to take it for a test run for a week or two or whatnot, I found a store on Ebay that sells little mini bottles of Carolina Herrera New York for only $6.50. I purchased one of these and then eventually ordered a full size bottle from Nordstrom. The 1.7 oz is $63.00.

I have had several friends who have asked me what I was wearing, tried this fragrance and then switched from their perfume to this classic and elegant fragrance.

If you are at all in touch with your inner (or for some of us “not so inner”) nerd then you really will want to see Galaxy Quest.

Its premise is based around a group of washed up Star Trek-esque actors; an incredible cast including an absolutely darling Sigourney Weaver, a dead-on Tim Allen playing the captain, Alan Rickman, (fantastic as always) Tony Shalhoub, (who I think we can all agree can do no wrong) and even Justin Long as a compulsively over-analytical young fan.

Every aspect of the movie parodies the Star Trek cast members, their fans, their questionable devotion and even the infamous conventions. However it makes no difference if you love Star Trek, hate it, or are indifferent, you will absolutely enjoy watching this.

The acting by everyone is dead-on, really couldn’t be better. No one seems to be taking themselves too seriously here.

Galaxy Quest is really just so light-heartedly funny, you almost forget what you are really watching is an impressively sophisticated, perfectly executed satire.

If you are looking for a terrific gift, or more importantly a fabulous indulgence for yourself, Bissinger’s Chocolate Barks are just the thing.

Bissinger’s is a sort of old school chocolate company that makes delicious, traditional confections, (don’t you love that word, “confections” or maybe it’s just me?) Anyway, Bissinger’s Chocolate Barks are scrumptious. The best by far are both the Strawberry Bark and the Pumpkin Bark.

Bissinger’s has ten different types of Bark including really unusual ones like Key Lime Bark. I am going to order the Blueberry Bark next as I have yet to try that one.

Another nice touch is that each of them comes in a beautiful gold box which makes a lovely presentation should you be giving it as a gift.

A box of the Bark costs only $16.75 and one box, (10 oz.,) provides quite a bit. For example, at Thanksgiving I brought one box of the Pumpkin Bark to dinner. There were eight of us and there was plenty in one box. And really, considering I easily ate at least half of the box myself, even still, there was plenty left for the remaining normal people there.

If you are married or have any kind of significant other, you are bound to find Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About by Mil Millington delightful.

Generally, I hate the phrase,“Laugh out loud funny”, almost as much as I hate the acronym,”LOL”, (don’t ask me why, I just find them both profoundly irritating,) but this is the rare book that I truly found myself laughing out loud…regularly throughout the entire book.

British author Mil Millington, (seriously,) has filled his book with little vignettes about his life with his girlfriend/wife and their children.

The book is an outgrowth of his website of the same name. And as is often the case with British writers, his book is greatly enhanced by his dry wit and scathingly sarcastic style.

It’s especially charming because while he bitches and moans about his wife and life, it is at the same time abundantly clear how much he respects and adores both.

You can certainly expect to laugh while reading the irreverent Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About but may be surprised at how curiously heartwarming it is at the same time.

That title sounded like I was talking about douche huh? Well, no fear, no douche advise here! This ones just about lovely, girly soap…just regular soap, not special soap.

So anyway, I have never really been a bar soap type of gal. However, I permanently switched over to bar soap entirely because I fell in love with Philosophy’s Amazing Grace soap.

First, it truly gets you clean, no residue feel on your skin after. Second, somehow it leaves your armpits totally happy and un-irritated, (like Dove claims to.) And third, it is the best smelling soap ever made…that is IF your a girl. And the scent lingers just the right amount on your skin out of the shower. It really is wonderful.

You can find Philosophy products all around, this set comes with two bars for $18.00. And each bar lasts a really long time. And besides, the cotton candy pink bars are just so damn pretty.

So I am telling you I have found an eye cream that truly reduces that permanent under eye darkness that so many of us have. And it costs $28.00 for a jar that will last you 6 months! So listen up, because seriously, this stuff works.

Okay, so I have inherited some not subtle under eye circles from my mother’s side of the family and have therefore for years been trying out different kinds of eye creams.

Just a couple of the “miracle”,(actually a synonym for “expensive”,) eye creams I have tried are; the La Mer Eye Balm~$130.00 and Hylexin~$95.00; along with many, many other high end under eye treatments. None of them, and I mean none, seemed to make any difference to the actual purpleness under the eye.

Now Eyecon from Benefit Cosmetics positively works. I don’t know how it works, and I don’t know why it is only $28.00, but I’m telling you…it works.

Okay, you are going to love these Brother’s All Natural Fruit Crisps! They are not really “fruit crisps” as the name suggests, as much as they are little pieces of “fruit air”.  If they were any lighter, they would float!

They come in these individual bags and have almost no calories! But the best part is, they are not a diet food, (as a general rule I consider diet food evil.) For example, my favorite by far is the Asian Pear. If you look on the package, the only ingredient is “100% freeze dried asian pears”. Thats it! They are not “fruit flavored” they are simply fruit! Nothing else. Isn’t that great? And for the Asian Pear packets, only 40 calories per individual serving pack.

I would advise against the pineapple as it kind of stings your tongue for some weird reason. And the strawberry just isn’t as sweet as you would expect, kind of bitter really. But all the other types of fruit crisps are terrific.

I originally found these at Cosco, but have never seen them there since. I cannot find them anywhere except online at the Brothers All Natural site. They are not cheap, $19.99 for a box of 12 individual size bags. But they are delicious. There is one bad thing about them now that I think about it; just while writing this…I have inhaled three bags.

A sheet of these Alpha Bitch stickers were given to me as a gift a while back, (I am assuming the nature of the gift implied nothing,) and I just love them. They are stickers blazoned with authentic vintage advertising art work. They show manically smiling 1950’s housewives with really, really perky boobs saying things like…”I childproofed my house..but they still get in!” and “Housework is evil and must be stopped.”

These stickers are delightfully funny and passive-aggressively sassy. And the cost per sheet, (and the sheets are quite large,) is only $4.99.

Blue-Q also has other sheets with titles like “Spiteful & Delightful” as well.

The best place to find would be on the Blue-Q Site. Blue-Q actually also has a bunch of slightly inappropriate, but really funny little items, most of which are inexpensive and make great gifts to someone with a healthy sense of humor.

If you are looking for a refreshing read, Laurie Notaro’s The Idiot Girl’s Action-Adventure Club is just the thing.

This book is super sharp with wit dry enough to actually be funny. It is made up of a disorganized jumble of stories about the author’s relatively un-remarkable and yet captivating life; captivating primarily because of the relatable “realness” of it and her self-depreciating style of writing.

The chapter topics range anywhere from “being the ugly friend” to stories of her charmingly caustic familial relationships to her unconditional love of her embarrassingly inappropriate “Nana”. Her writing style is honest and often crude, yet not particularly offensive.

Laurie Notaro has written five additional books since this first publication. Having read them all, I would suggest you read I love Everybody (and other atrocious lies) after this one, (gotta love any book with the word “atrocious” in the title!) There is a Laurie Notaro website where you can get info. on her books and upcoming projects.

All her books, (with the exception of her newly published first-time novel,) are delightful. You will presumably enjoy her writing for the same reasons that I do, because she is flawed, funny, and un-intentionally fabulous.